now i know why i became what i already was.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
These tits shall not be calmed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
