Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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