That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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