I'm drive I can fine osifer
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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