Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
