never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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