HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
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it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize