When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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