...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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