He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
