I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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