i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
