Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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