My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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