My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
