some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
