I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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