Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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