just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
PANTIES FOUND
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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