Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
