seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
