The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
