Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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