Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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