im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
