oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
