i was born a porn star she said
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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