yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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