Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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