Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
