Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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