Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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