I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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