Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
