Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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