so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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