Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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