I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
birth control should be required to get into college
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
