just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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