So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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