True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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