Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
