Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
