she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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