Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
