I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
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I just want to make out with him forever
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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