dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
