I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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