I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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