well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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