just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize