At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
