I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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