Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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