Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
