No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
