she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza