Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.