the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.