i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land