I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction