hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.