i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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