Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
