A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fill condoms, not promises.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
