when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
