I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
